I Just Have a Lot of Feelings

It's almost exactly 3 months until D-Day. The day I leave for an incredible adventure into the unknown with people I hardly know. It's going to be really great. And hard. But really, really awesome.

Or so I'm told.

This pre-World Race period is a bittersweet one for me. Yes, of course I'm excited. I guess. Honestly, it's hard for me to even think about how I feel about this next year. My feelings have fallen all over the emotional spectrum.

On the one hand, I can't wait to get out of here and do something. To live a better story. Be a part of something so few have the privilege to experience. Allow God to be in charge of my life – instead of me. For once.

On the other, I'm already in a place I love. I can already see God moving, working in ways I didn't expect. I'm already being stretched. I have friends I don't know what I'd do without. I've seen God change my life around, rock my misconceptions, and make me uncomfortable.

I'm leaving something that's already really, really good.

So, no, I'm not sitting on the edge of my seat, eagerly awaiting the day I leave this place. Which is really soon. In only 1 month, I'll be leaving Anderson, IN to spend my final 2 stateside months of 2011 in OKC with my family. And I'm not ready to say goodbye yet.

I've only known these people, this place for 17 months, but it's been long enough to leave me forever changed. It's even harder to make a conscious, independent decision to leave. When I went to college, I knew I only had 4 years with those people. At camp, 3 months. Time with them was beyond my control. But this is different. I could stay if I wanted. I could keep doing life with these people. I could maintain face-to-face friendships with others I've come to know and love deeply. I could keep enjoying my Starbucks Wednesdays (and Tuesdays, and Thursdays, and Fridays...) with baristas who all know my name. Leaving won't be easy.

And then my anxiety jumps ahead to 14 months from now, when I return from my life-altering journey across the globe.

WHAT NOW?

Will I have any money? Will I have to live at home again? Will I be a boomerang child, as if I never went to college or lived on my own or went on the World Race at all? Will I know what to do with my life? Will I hate America? Will all my friends forget me? What if, what if, what if...

It's as if, in my mind, the World Race is simply another distraction, another break from real, responsible, adult life.

But it's not!

But that's how I feel. I'm feelingsy.

Yes, I know God has it. I know He has opened this door for me, provided for me financially, and reassured me through so many wonderful, encouraging, loving people. I know He alone knows my future. I know He determines my steps. I KNOW. Thank you for all the reminders. But it might take a little bit for those reminders to translate from my head to my heart.

So, am I excited about the World Race? Yes. And no. But really, yes. Most of the time. Sometimes. It's going to be a process of letting go... of the good I'm leaving behind, of what I expect God to do with me over the next year, and of these crazy delusions of control I have over the future.

It's going to to be really, really awesome.

And really hard.

But really awesome.

Raising Funds

Throughout all the stress of raising financial support, I have come to this realization again and again:  It's not the worst thing ever!  I’m still in the early phases of that, but God has blessed me with an INCREDIBLE outpouring of support (through the most unlikely of people) so far.  The World Race mobilizers set up “mini-deadlines” for our fundraising to keep us on track, and our first is $3,500 by October 1^st.  Despite my skepticism, I reached $3,830 on August 17^th!  So only about $12,000 to go.  No problem.

I’ve had a few people ask me about where all the support money goes, so I did a little research and found this fancy pie chart (via Anna Maillet).

 
 

 
 

My 65% covers the following:

• 
  $4,235 for our intercontinental travel for the year 


• 
  $460 per month, broken down as: 
  
  
  
  • 
    $3.75 per day for food
  
  
  • 
    $5.25 per day for lodging
  
  
  • 
    $3.00 per day for transport
  
  
  • 
    $3.33 per day for long distance travel (buses, trains) and miscellaneous supplies
  
  
  
  

 
In case you’re curious, here are our the fundraising deadlines for the January 2012 World Race:

• 
  $3,500 - Due 10/1/2011 (2 weeks before Training Camp)


• 
  $6,500 - Due 12/18/2011 (2 weeks prior my trip)


• 
  $11,000 - Due 4/1/2011 (End of 3 months on the field)


• 
  $15,500 - Due 7/1/2011 (End of 6 months on the field)

 

 

Want to Support Me?

 

If you are interested in supporting me financially, check out these 4 options!

 

1. Credit and Debit Card

If you click the "Support Me!" link on the left side of my blog (http://reagantaylor.theworldrace.org), you will be taken to a form for giving that allows you to donate using a credit or debit card.  Obviously, this is mighty convenient. You can even set up an automatic monthly payment.  The drawback is that it requires a third-party service that charges a fee.  5% of what you give using a credit or debit card online is taken out before I see the donation.


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  Pros:  Quick.  Easy to find and navigate. Easy to set up monthly pledge.

  
  


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  Cons:  5% fee paid to the processing company.

  
  

 

2. Bank Draft

You can also set up a bank draft through the "Support Me!" link on my blog (http://reagantaylor.theworldrace.org).  It's similar to the credit and debit card donations, but the funds come directly out of your bank account rather than through your card.  This method is also easy and convenient.  It also requires a fee to be paid to a third-party processing company.  With a bank draft, the processing fee is only 3%.

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  Pros:  Quick.  Easy to find and navigate. Easy to set up monthly pledge.

  
  


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  Cons:  3% fee paid to the processing company.

  
  

 

3. Check by Mail

It's also possible for you to mail checks to Adventures in Missions (P.O. Box 534470 Atlanta, GA 30353-4470). Be sure to put “World Race: Reagan Taylor” in the memo line! This method may be a bit more tedious and take longer to process, but there is absolutely no processing fee. 100% of your gift goes to my support account.

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  Pros:  No processing fee.  Sent directly to AIM's bank to be deposited.

  
  


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  Cons:  May take up to 2 weeks from the date mailed for the donation to appear in my fundraising account.

  
  

 

4. DynaPay System

For those of you who know you would like to make a monthly commitment, the DynaPay system may be the all-around best option.  By entering a few bits of information online, you can give, by electronic check, once or twice a month. The best part: NO PROCESSING FEES. You MUST enter the end date of the gift in the online form or the donation will continue until AIM's Donor Relations department receives written confirmation that you would like to discontinue the donation.  You can direct donors to www.adventures.org/dynapay to give through the DynaPay system.

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  Pros:  No processing fee.  Automated giving.

  
  


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  Cons:  You must specify the end date or communicate in writing with Donor Relations.


  
  

Of course, regardless of whether you decide to give financially, I would love your prayers for me and my squadmates during this process.  It can feel pretty overwhelming, and it's easy to get discouraged.  But we're trusting that God will provide!

Feel free to let me know if you have any questions about anything.  If I don't know the answer, I can probably find out!

The What, When, Where

What is the World Race?

The World Race is a program of the inter-denominational organization Adventures in Missions (AIM). AIM is a reputable missions organization that has been around since 1989, sending people from different churches and backgrounds all over the world on life-changing mission trips.  The World Race is an 11-month mission trip served out in 11 different countries.  My route will run January-November 2012.


Where will we be going?

(UPDATE:  Our route has been completely flipped!  Apparently Jesus was serious when He said the last shall be first and the first shall be last...  Here is the NEW route for our squad.)

January:  Dominican Republic

The Dominican Republic shares the island of Hispaniola in the Caribbean. The more affluent neighbor to Haiti (though generally it isn't too affluent) home to 9 million people. The Dominican culture is lively, vibrant, warm; however, the culture struggles with problems like hypersexualization and alcoholism. After the earthquake on January 12 in Haiti, the D.R. quickly became refuge to thousands who were displaced. This month, you'll serve at orphanages, refugee camps, and more; you'll partner with local churches, pastors, even Adventures in Missions' own full-time missionaries.

 

 

February:  Haiti

Haiti was hit with a life-altering earthquake on January 12, 2010. The nation's still in shambles, the church is rising up. Haiti is experiencing a spiritual revival right now like it has never before seen. Communities are turning to pastors for leadership, and the local church is becoming the driving force behind Haiti's ongoing rebirth. This month, you'll help with relief efforts, establish connections with local pastors, help people rebuild their lives through meeting felt needs, and more. Come ready to serve; come ready to be blessed.

 

March:  Romania

The northern regions of Romania are home to the gypsy community. Though strangers in their homeland and forgotten by society, the gypsies are a strong and vibrant people who embrace the light of Christ in an inspirational way. Here, you will teach English, lead sports camps, live life with the gypsies, and more. It will be an exciting time of learning about a people group you may not have known even existed.

 

 

April:  Moldova

Once a part of Romania, this former Soviet republic declared independence in 1991. Moldova, one of the poorest European countries, is riddled with a high underground crime rate. This country is vulnerable as a transit point of human trafficking. The main language spoken is Romanian (also called Moldovan) but there's debate as to what the Moldovan ethnicity is exactly. We need people who will bring Kingdom clarity and declare peace the peace of God over a land filled with confusion and chaos.

 

May:  Mozambique

One of the most beautiful countries in the African continent, Mozambique is a favorite location of World Racers for a variety of reasons: the people, the landscape, the ministry partnerships, the miracles that this country has seen, and more. The former Portuguese colony is seeing signs of redemption and economic recovery; because of, or in spite of, the extreme poverty gripping the nation, the church grows. You will teach, preach, and practice "true religion" with widows and orphans while you grow in your identity in Christ. One of your most interesting travel "days" may happen here.

 

June:  Swaziland

The Kingdom of Swaziland is one of the last remaining monarchies in Africa. Home to 1.1 million people and breath-taking scenic views, it's also where the world's highest HIV/AIDS infection rate lives (26.1% in adults and over 50% of adults in their 20s). It's estimated that by 2050, the country of Swaziland will not even exist. Young orphans are scattered throughout this nation that is in desperate need of attention. For years, AIM has been committed to seeing these statistics reversed. Here, you will most likely find yourself involved in a variety of outreaches, including education, orphan care, care point feedings, and more.

 

 

July:  South Africa

While it's been several decades since apartheid has formally ended, there is still more healing and reconciliation to take place in South Africa. This country is one of the wealthiest on the continent, and yet, much of the population that lives outside the cities is poor.

Like the rest of sub-Saharan Africa, this country struggles with a high rate of AIDS/HIV. Host to the 2010 World Cup and breathtaking natural attractions, it is also a place full of kingdom potential, waiting to be released -- by you

 

August:  India

With nearly a sixth of the world's population within its borders, India is a country bursting with people and culture. Home to a diverse array of beliefs from Hinduism to Islam, to a blend of folk religions and other faiths, it is a country of pluralism with twenty-nine languages spoken by over a million native speakers, multiple religions, cuisine, socio-economic classes, and political parties. India's struggles with poverty and crimes of human trafficking, forced prostitution, religious persecution, and more. You might work with local churches to encourage believers and most likely be challenged by their testimonies. Your presence'll bring hope and truth to those that society deems "untouchable."


 

 

 

September:  Nepal

Home to Mount Everest, the world's tallest mountain, Nepal literally sits on top of the world. In addition to adventurous experiences you will have here, you may also visit widows and orphans in their times of distress and protect the innocent who are prey to human traffickers. This month of your World Race experience will submerge you in a culture that is desperate for an encounter with the living God.

 

 

October:  China

Host of the 2008 Summer Olympics and home to 1.3 billion people, China is not just grand in land mass and population. While China has grown in leaps and bounds industrially, intellectually, and even economically, it's still a politically closed nation. Depending on where you are, you may meet Buddhists, Muslims, and Taoists; there are even churches - government approved and regulated. The underground church is extensive and continues growing, even thriving amidst of persecution. While there, you'll have to pay homage to the Great Wall, and bring light and hope to a people in darkness and depression.

 

November:  Philippines

This Asian island nation, once a Spanish colony and an American protectorate, is a country in tension, trying to cross the threshold between the third and first world. It offers a variety of landscapes - beaches, mountains, volcanic lakes - and languages, with Tagalog as the national tongue. The Catholic Church is a substantial piece of the religious pie, however, Islam is growing in the island of Mindinao. The Filipino people and culture love music, dance and community. While there, you may find yourself living with and giving hope to the destitute, caring for orphans, and challenging the growing number of Christ-followers to rise up.

 

What do we actually "do" on the Race?

Every day on the World Race will look a little different. Some days will be packed full with construction, VBS, building relationships with orphans, or praying for the sick at a hospital. Some days could be slower where you shop for groceries at the market, cook for your team, and spend time praying for the community you walk through. Every day will be focused on being a part of God's Kingdom work, in every way that could look!


Any other questions about the World Race?  Leave a comment, or check out http://www.theworldrace.org/!

On Applying for the World Race

If you're like me, you love the idea of God writing a clear-cut, color-coded message on the wall just for you. A roadmap to your destiny. Fool proof. Right? And not that I don't think people don't get direct instructions from God sometimes. But I rarely get that.
 
So, here's the deal. I have no idea what I'm getting myself into.
 
I would really like to go on the World Race, and here's why:
 
I want to be changed. I want to get out of my classic Westernized American bubble. I want to see what God is doing outside of my Bible belt religious spirituality. I want to see what it actually looks like to live by faith. To be completely unable to depend on myself to make it. I want to resonate with the hurt of the world. I want to be out of control.
 
I've been keeping up with a few blogs of current World Racers, and they are incredible. They talk about miracles they've witnessed, like healing-effecting prayers and even people being raised from the dead. These missionaries have boldly proclaimed Jesus; they have shoveled poop out of village streets; they have held abandoned children; they have made friends with lepers; they have shown lonely people that love isn't dead; they have completely come to the end of themselves. They are agents of change. I want to be an agent of change. I want to be a part of what He is already doing - something bigger than myself. I want to see the world through His eyes.  And then I want to help change it.
 
God will complete His work in this world, with or without me. He doesn't need me. But He chooses to need people, the church, His Body. I don't know that He wants me to pursue this particular journey.
 
But I do know that God calls all Christians to a mission field, and I have known and loved Him most when that’s where I’ve been. When I volunteered at Echo Ranch Bible Camp for the summer, I was spent every single day. Week after week, I thought, 'I have never been this tired, and I could never be mored tired than this.' Of course, week after week wore me down even more, until I was finished. I knew I had nothing left to give. And that's right where God wants us. I couldn't do it on my own anymore, which is what it took for me to see, hear, feel, experience Him the most. In situations where I had no strength, no answers to give, He provided. I no longer had anything to brag about. It was all Him. All for His glory. Not mine.
 
I long to be there again. But you know what it's going to take? An epic failure. And, on the World Race, I know I will fail. Like, big time. I don't like sleeping on the floor. Or peeing in a hole. Or being dirty. At all. I take about an hour-and-a-half to get ready in the morning. I'm at Starbucks like 18 times a week. And, you know what? I like it. I like being comfortable. It's cozy in my box. I'm selfish. I'm horrible at genuinely loving people. I will fail at that too. I will fail at being joyful when mosquitoes hotly pursue me, being patient on long travel days, and being loving when, for the love of all that is good and holy, all I want to do is be by myself.
 
I don't know if this is for me because I DO know that I will fail.
 
But I also know that God redeems failures like me. His grace is made perfect in my weakness.
 
I don't throw in that towel gracefully. My surrenders are ugly. They're the result of a long, hard road of trying to make it work on my own. (As if my control ever got me anywhere.) But He always steps in, and He always redeems, and I always learn, and it's always worth it.
 
I don't know. But that's what faith is. It's being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. It's taking the next step and saying, 'God, if you don't save me, I'm screwed.' And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to take a step of faith.
 
Will you take that step with me?
 
It's okay if you don't. Really, it is. One of the biggest hang-ups of this process, for me, is asking for help. Specifically, asking for money. Because it's going to take a lot of it. And I know what it's like to be bombarded by requests for money from people I barely know. It's annoying, and really, I usually couldn't care less about whatever they want to go do. I have started supporting a few missionaries and organizations over the last few years, though, and I will say that it is amazing to know that, because of my contributions, Kingdom work can be done a little more confidently. I give because I want to, and I want you to do the same.
 
Like I said, I can't do this by myself. God is going to have to pull this one off. But, if this is where He wants me next year, He will provide.

Basically, it comes down to this:  I'm going to keep praying while taking this step forward. If you are willing to take that step with me, then please pray about giving financially to my World Race efforts.  The reality is, if 100 people can give $13 a month from July 2011-July 2012, my trip will be fully funded.  Easy, right?  

If you'd like to pray for me, then PLEASE DO IT.  It means the world to me when people tell me they're praying for me - that they are going to the God of the universe, Maker of heaven and earth, and Savior of souls on my behalf. "I'm praying for you" isn't some lame Christian cop-out. It's the ultimate thing you can do! 

If you'd like to contribute, just click the "Support Me!" link on the left.  

If you'd like to ask me any questions, just leave a comment or click the Contact link on the left.

If there's anything else I haven't covered...  Well, just let me know!



Oh yeah, here's my personal World Race Promo Video, which pretty much says all the same stuff you just read, only with music behind it.

Something Pretty Neat

My plans for 2012!

Let me go ahead and establish a few things...

1. You'll want to turn the volume WAY up, then WAY down, then WAY up again.


2. I'm not a professional iMovie maker. At all. So please excuse the sloppy transitions.


3. Also excuse the nervous laughs and 59 uses of the phrase "you know". (Ironically, I had no idea I said that so much.)

Now that you know all the rules... Enjoy!

Reagan Taylor: World Race Promo Video

Discontent

I've been camping out in this "rut" for awhile now. I know, I know: good Christians who love Jesus don't get in ruts. They just go through valleys and allow God to come alongside them during the low points so they can learn to trust Him more and witness the beauty of redemption and blah blah blah. Okay, so all of that is true. I know it is. But it still sucks.

Every so often, I go into panic mode on what to do with my life. I think the majority of my blog posts have highlighted this. But, this time, I feel like that change will be soon. I don't know whether it's God pushing me to be ready or me just about ready to erupt if things stay the same for much longer. It could be a combination of the two. Over the past couple years, I've learned that I get antsy pretty quickly. For whatever reason, the diehard schedule-hugger that I am loves change. (Well, sometimes.) I like going new places and exploring the unknown. I like getting out of my comfort zone and trying things I've never done before and seeing how God works through all of it. (For an example of this, check out my Alaska blog.) I think God's/I'm prepping myself to do that again... soonish.

I don't remember whether I've talked about this before on this blog, but I've mentioned to a few of you in person that I once applied for The World Race. It's an 11 month mission trip that takes you to minister in 11 different countries. For various reasons, I decided not to go. But that passion for major change and discontent with the status quo has reared its ugly (or beautiful?) head once again, and now I'm seriously considering applying for it. I'm scared to death of raising support ($15,000!), but my heart for world change won't be satisfied until I get off my lazy butt and do something. I think God's been moving me in this direction for awhile... I just chose to take the scenic route. I sure am glad He's patient.

The point of this post is a cry for prayer and words of wisdom. It means the world to me when people tell me they're praying for me - that they are going to the God of the universe, Maker of heaven and earth, and Savior of souls on my behalf. "I'm praying for you" isn't some lame Christian cop-out. It's the ultimate thing you can do! So, everyone, would you pray for me? Would you ask God to open doors for me and my future (whether it's The World Race or something else)? Will you approach Him with confidence for me? Because I sure don't have a lot of confidence right now.

Thank you!

And be sure to check out this video on The World Race!

Moments of Grace

I spend a lot of time in coffee shops. Second only to work and my bed. Last week I spent about 4 hours at one of them reading a book in preparation for a class I would be teaching on prayer. I really struggled with this particular element of prayer in my own life, and I had no idea what to say about it. Hence, the book I read for 4 hours. Maybe only 3, because I sometimes got distracted by the guitar playing and the old lady telling the baristas her life story. And I felt like I was getting nothing out of it. I was getting so frustrated. Here I was, volunteering to teach a class that wasn’t even mine, and choosing the hardest topic ever to talk about. Was I an idiot? Was I in over my head? Why couldn’t I wrap my mind around whatever it was I was supposed to be understanding? Why had I just wasted hours of my life on something that was useless?

On my drive back home, I just vented to God. What is wrong with me? What do you want me to say? I don’t get it! I just don’t understand! As I repeated these mantras of failure over and over in my mind, a verse in 2 Corinthians 12 that I had read earlier that day came to me… “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Yeah, you don’t get it. You don’t understand. And that’s just how I want it – my grace is sufficient for your lack of knowing. My power is made PERFECT in your weakness. With an unspoken “Oh,” I burst into a fresh phase of tears. This is where He wants me after all. Every time my mind went back to the ifs and buts, I just kept hearing the same thing. My grace is sufficient… My grace is sufficient… My grace is sufficient…

He is glorified when I am weak because that is the only time I will LET Him save me.

I got my lesson done the night before the class. All was well.

UPDATE:

I read this in Henri Nouwen's Reaching Out today. Spiritual punch in the face. And perfectly befitting for such a post as this.

"To prepare ourselves for service we have to prepare ourselves for an articulate not knowing, a docta ignorantia, a learned ignorance. This is very difficult to accept for people whose whole attitude is towards mastering and controlling the world. We all want to be educated so that we can be in control of the situation and make things work according our our own need. But education to ministry is an education not to master God but to be mastered by God... well-educated ministers are not individuals who can tell you exactly who God is, where good and evil are and how to travel from this world to the next, but people whose articulate not-knowing makes them free to listen to the voice of God in the words of the people, in the events of the day and in the books containing the life experience of men and women from other places and other times. In short, learned ignorance makes one able to receive the word from others and the Other with great attention."