If you're like me, you love the idea of God writing a clear-cut, color-coded message on the wall just for you. A roadmap to your destiny. Fool proof. Right? And not that I don't think people don't get direct instructions from God sometimes. But I rarely get that.
So, here's the deal. I have no idea what I'm getting myself into.
I would really like to go on the World Race, and here's why:
I want to be changed. I want to get out of my classic Westernized American bubble. I want to see what God is doing outside of my Bible belt religious spirituality. I want to see what it actually looks like to live by faith. To be completely unable to depend on myself to make it. I want to resonate with the hurt of the world. I want to be out of control.
I've been keeping up with a few blogs of current World Racers, and they are incredible. They talk about miracles they've witnessed, like healing-effecting prayers and even people being raised from the dead. These missionaries have boldly proclaimed Jesus; they have shoveled poop out of village streets; they have held abandoned children; they have made friends with lepers; they have shown lonely people that love isn't dead; they have completely come to the end of themselves. They are agents of change. I want to be an agent of change. I want to be a part of what He is already doing - something bigger than myself. I want to see the world through His eyes. And then I want to help change it.
God will complete His work in this world, with or without me. He doesn't need me. But He chooses to need people, the church, His Body. I don't know that He wants me to pursue this particular journey.
But I do know that God calls all Christians to a mission field, and I have known and loved Him most when that’s where I’ve been. When I volunteered at Echo Ranch Bible Camp for the summer, I was spent every single day. Week after week, I thought, 'I have never been this tired, and I could never be mored tired than this.' Of course, week after week wore me down even more, until I was finished. I knew I had nothing left to give. And that's right where God wants us. I couldn't do it on my own anymore, which is what it took for me to see, hear, feel, experience Him the most. In situations where I had no strength, no answers to give, He provided. I no longer had anything to brag about. It was all Him. All for His glory. Not mine.
I long to be there again. But you know what it's going to take? An epic failure. And, on the World Race, I know I will fail. Like, big time. I don't like sleeping on the floor. Or peeing in a hole. Or being dirty. At all. I take about an hour-and-a-half to get ready in the morning. I'm at Starbucks like 18 times a week. And, you know what? I like it. I like being comfortable. It's cozy in my box. I'm selfish. I'm horrible at genuinely loving people. I will fail at that too. I will fail at being joyful when mosquitoes hotly pursue me, being patient on long travel days, and being loving when, for the love of all that is good and holy, all I want to do is be by myself.
I don't know if this is for me because I DO know that I will fail.
But I also know that God redeems failures like me. His grace is made perfect in my weakness.
I don't throw in that towel gracefully. My surrenders are ugly. They're the result of a long, hard road of trying to make it work on my own. (As if my control ever got me anywhere.) But He always steps in, and He always redeems, and I always learn, and it's always worth it.
I don't know. But that's what faith is. It's being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. It's taking the next step and saying, 'God, if you don't save me, I'm screwed.' And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to take a step of faith.
Will you take that step with me?
It's okay if you don't. Really, it is. One of the biggest hang-ups of this process, for me, is asking for help. Specifically, asking for money. Because it's going to take a lot of it. And I know what it's like to be bombarded by requests for money from people I barely know. It's annoying, and really, I usually couldn't care less about whatever they want to go do. I have started supporting a few missionaries and organizations over the last few years, though, and I will say that it is amazing to know that, because of my contributions, Kingdom work can be done a little more confidently. I give because I want to, and I want you to do the same.
Like I said, I can't do this by myself. God is going to have to pull this one off. But, if this is where He wants me next year, He will provide.
Basically, it comes down to this: I'm going to keep praying while taking this step forward. If you are willing to take that step with me, then please pray about giving financially to my World Race efforts. The reality is, if 100 people can give $13 a month from July 2011-July 2012, my trip will be fully funded. Easy, right?
If you'd like to pray for me, then PLEASE DO IT. It means the world to me when people tell me they're praying for me - that they are going to the God of the universe, Maker of heaven and earth, and Savior of souls on my behalf. "I'm praying for you" isn't some lame Christian cop-out. It's the ultimate thing you can do!
If you'd like to contribute, just click the "Support Me!" link on the left.
If you'd like to ask me any questions, just leave a comment or click the Contact link on the left.
If there's anything else I haven't covered... Well, just let me know!
Oh yeah, here's my personal World Race Promo Video, which pretty much says all the same stuff you just read, only with music behind it.
No comments:
Post a Comment