I graduated from college almost two years ago. Two years! So much has happened since then -- all ultimately great things -- but I still often reflect on what I would have done differently if I could go back and do my 18-22 years over again.
I just got back from visiting a good friend who lives a block away from my alma mater. We decided to take a walk across the campus, and we talked about the different sites of awesome and devastating (mostly devastaing) moments of our college careers. As we reminisced, I said to her, "I just wish I could go back and tell myself, 'Reagan, why are you consciously choosing to be crazy? To do things that are making you miserable? STOP it! This isn't working for you.'"
I'm not one to advocate dwelling in regret, but I know from experience that human beings are apt to repeat the same mistakes. Over and over and over. I can see that pattern in my own life now, and I wish I would have picked up on it sooner.
The great thing is, I love giving advice. Anytime you want someone to fix you, let me know, because I'm super awesome at (sometimes) thinking I can. In working with high school students and having lots of college-aged friends, I get to share my past experiences and provide guidance when asked (and often when not). So if you were to inquire of me, 'Reagan, what are you glad you did/what would you have done differently? In all your 23 years of wisdom, what are things you would suggest to a college student?' here is what I would say:
The "freshman dorm experience" isn't a myth. Those crazy girls on your floor will probaby be some of your closest friends for the next 4 years. Leave your door open. Host a movie night. Stay up until 2am playing Guitar Hero. (Just don't do it every night.)
Yes, it will be like mating season during those first 2 weeks of your freshman fall semester. No, you won't be able to enjoy a nice chat with your roommates in your dorm lobby without having to experience a pair (or 5 pairs) of lovebirds canoodling on the sofa(s) right next to you. But that doesn't have to be you. Enjoy the freedom of making friends with whomever you want, going wherever you want, and doing whatever you want for awhile. Give it a semester. Give it two. Don't feel like something is wrong with you if you haven't found your potential forever friend right off the bat. You'll be glad you have other friends later.
Choose at least one thing on campus to get really involved in. Something you enjoy. Something that will be worth your time. And commit to it. It will feel good to have "your people" -- those Gospel choir singers/social work club members/intramural flag football players -- with whom you can share memories and enjoy the same quirky things.
The freshman 15/20/30? Also not a myth. As much as you can stand it, try to stay away from those daily late night pizza deliveries and the all-you-can-eat stir fry section in the dining hall. No, you don't need 1 dessert per meal. And it probably wouldn't kill you to take advantage of the FREE fitness center that's only a 2 minute walk from your dorm.
Choose a semester in Australia over that guy you've been dating for only 2 months. Choose China. Choose England. Choose anywhere -- because, remember, you will come back. And you will have learned, lived through, and done things that may never be available to you again until you're an old, retired empty-nester.
Take chances. Make mistakes. But if they just aren't working for you after the 2nd, 6th, or 26th time, STOP MAKING THEM.
Get involved in something outside the university bubble. Volunteer at a local church. Spend a summer as a camp counselor. Make these years bigger than you.
Build relationships with people who know what actual life is like (because, of course, college isn't anything like the real world).
Get to know God. Make your spiritual walk your own. Go through a crisis of faith. Ask a lot of questions. Seek out answers. Cry out to Him when you're at the end of yourself -- and experience a real, loving, personal relationship for what might be the first time. Don't be afraid to learn that the religious professions of your parents -- the ones you've obviously believed your whole life -- might not be entirely correct. But learn it around people who have been there too, who will love and encourage and counsel you when you need it.
Adventures in Missions gets this, too. Watch this video for more words of wisdom... and to learn about Passport (formerly Real Life), a "mini-World Race" for college kids!
How about you? What kinds of pointers would you give to a college student?
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